GIVE me a man with a dark brown past—one who has tasted the spice in life's pudding, and won't begin to long for it the moment he has been put on the matrimonial diet of bread and milk. THE man who fancies himself completely understood is as unhappy as the woman who thinks she is misunderstood. IF St. Peter is really an old man, no girl over seventeen need apply for admission to Heaven. A KISS may be anything from an insult to a benediction; and yet a man never can understand why a girl is indignant sometimes when she is kissed and isn't at others. EVEN a dead husband gives a widow some advantage over an old maid. |
THE kind of wife every man is looking for is one who can peel potatoes with one hand, curl her hair with the other, rock the cradle with her foot and accompany herself on the piano. IT isn't conscience, but the fear of consequences that keeps a man from trifling with a pretty woman. POVERTY is a love charm; you never know how great a thing love is until you haven't anything else in the world. WOMEN take awful chances in matrimony—because that's the only kind they get nowadays. A MAN'S past is always quite past and his dead loves are so dead that he wouldn't recognize them if he should meet their corpses on the street. |
| A MAN always holds a woman at her own
valuation; if she sets a high price on herself
he is eager to pay it, but he doesn't
want anything that looks as though it
came off a bargain counter.
A MAN always considers himself mighty
clever when he can glide through the
shallows of love-making without foundering
on the rocks of matrimony.
CHOOSING a husband is like picking out
the combination on a lottery ticket; your
first guess is apt to be as good as your last.
A MAN'S idea of success is to be able to
run his business by touching the electric
button at the side of his desk.
MAN is a mysterious chemical combination;
add matrimony and you never can
tell what he will turn into.
|
THERE is nothing which falls with such a dull sickening thud on a man's vanity as his wife's dead silence after he has made one of his characteristically brilliant remarks. IT IS always a shock to a girl when her fiancé's sister takes her into his den and she sees her photograph standing on the mantelpiece between an actress in green tights and a cigarette ad. A GIRL who has a brother has a great advantage over one who hasn't; she gets a working knowledge of men without having to go through the matrimonial inquisition in order to acquire it. A MAN always pats himself on the back when he has composed a letter that breathes devotion, but would not be negotiable in a breach of promise suit. |
| THERE is nothing so easy for a man as forgetting;
he scarcely takes time to throw a
shovelful of dirt on the grave of a dead
love before he is off pursuing a new one.
TO a man love is only a side dish; to a
woman it's the whole feast.
THERE are few men constituted strong
enough romantically to stand a daily diet
of kisses, without getting sentimental
nausea.
GENIUS, like anything else, needs distance
to lend it enchantment; and the longer
you are married to one, the more distance
you are likely to give him.
BEFORE marrying a man, ask yourself if
you could love him if he lost his front
hair, went without a collar, smoked an old
pipe, and wore a ready-made suit; all of
these things are likely to happen.
|