A MAN'S sentiment is like cologne; he always offers you the cheap kind in large quantities. A FEW years with the "George Washington" type of husband, who goes about with a hatchet and is too honest to flatter his wife, must make her long for a nice, comfortable companion like Ananias. BEING clever at repartee means being able to say at the moment the brilliant thing which you usually don't think of until ten minutes later. ANALYZING your love for a woman is like dissecting a flower; by the time you have picked it to pieces and found out what it is composed of, its perfume and beauty are all gone. Sentimental botanists get about as much satisfaction out of life as dietetics out of a good dinner. |
A SUMMER resort is a place where a man will resort to anything from croquet to cocktails for amusement and where a girl will resort to anything from a half-grown boy to an aged paralytic for an escort. WHEN a man becomes a confirmed old bachelor it is not because he has never met the one woman he could live with, but because he has never met the one woman he couldn't live without. MANY a man who promises before marriage to lift every care off a girl's shoulders won't even begin by lifting the ice off the dumb-waiter after marriage. ONE comfort in being a woman is that you have the right to cry; when a man sheds tears the poor thing always looks and feels as if he had been guilty of an immodest exposure of the soul. |
DON'T fancy a man is serious merely because he treats you to French dinners and talks sentiment; wait until he begins to take you to cheap tables d'hôte and talks economy. A MAN likes a wife who appeals to his lighter side, but the average man has so many lighter sides that no one woman could appeal to them all; and even if she could there is always his darker side and a peroxide blonde waiting around to appeal to it. A WOMAN'S idea in marrying a man is that she may save his soul; his idea in marrying her is that she may save his socks and his digestion. PEOPLE who marry "for a joke" certainly must be blessed with an awfully keen sense of humor. |
THE girl whose hair is a little too gold, whose chin is a little too pink and whose laugh is a little too gay, apparently doesn't realize that even a siren couldn't attract a man if she sang too loud. THE "measure of a man" can usually be taken in half an hour's acquaintance, but the true measure of a woman is something that is known only to her husband and her dressmaker. "THE worst of certainty is better than the best of doubt," says the proverb; but when it comes to man's love for a woman the worst of uncertainty is better for it than the best of security. A MAN'S past is written on a slate which can be washed clean at will, but a woman's is written in indelible ink in Mrs. Grundy's reference book. |
| MANY a woman who cannot be bought
with any amount of gold can be won with
just a little amount of brass.
IF MEN were absolutely certain that angels
wear the sort of Mother Hubbard draperies
in which they are usually painted instead
of French corsets and sheath skirts, not
one of them would bother about trying to
get to heaven.
THE poet who sang of "woman's infinite
variety" must at some time have been the
only young man at a summer hotel.
THE man who lets the tailor pad his shoulders
is very contemptuous of the woman
who lets the dressmaker pad her skirts.
NOWADAYS love is a matter of chance,
matrimony a matter of money and divorce
a matter of course.
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