| A MOTHER-IN-LAW may be the serpent
in the Garden of Eden; but if it hadn't
been for the serpent whom would Adam
have had to blame for all his troubles?
WHEN two people marry they "lock their
hearts together and throw away the
key;" then they begin looking around for
some old legal nail to pick the lock with.
LUCK in love consists in getting not the
person you want, but the person who
wants you. If you don't believe it try being
married to somebody who is not in
love with you.
A MAN'S idea of an engagement is a
chance to find out whether or not he
really enjoys kissing that particular girl.
IT'S not his understanding of the plot of the
opera that makes a man appreciate it, but
the "understanding" of the chorus ladies.
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| A MAN thinks that by marrying a woman
he proves he loves her, and that therefore
nothing more need ever be said about
it.
THE average man looks on matrimony as a
hitching post where he can tie a woman
and leave her until he comes home nights.
THERE is nothing so uninteresting to a
a man as a contentedly married woman.
A MAN'S sweethearts are like his cigars;
he has many of each of them, loves each
one as tenderly as the preceding, and appreciates
each according to its expensiveness.
A HUSBAND can always find fault with
his wife, but, then, even archangels could
pick flaws in one another if they had to
drink coffee at the same table every morning.
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MATRIMONY is, like the weather, mighty uncertain, and the happiest people are those who are neither looking for storms nor banking on sunshine, but are just willing to go along sensibly and take what comes. IT MAY mean nothing, but it's very mortifying to a woman when she takes her husband's dog for a walk and he tries to go into every corner saloon. IT'S easier to hide your light under a bushel than to keep your shady side dark. FUNNY how a married man who is trying to flirt with you always begins by telling you what a trying disposition his wife has. IT'S harder to get around a husband without flattery than to get around Cape Horn without a compass. |
A MAN marries a girl for what she is, and then invariably tries to make her over into something else which he thinks she ought to be. WHEN an ordinary man does not smoke, drink, nor swear, be careful to find out what worse folly it is that he is addicted to. A MAN gets his sentiment for a woman so mixed up with the brand of perfume she uses that half the time he doesn't know which is which. HUSBANDS are like the pictures in the anti-fat advertisements—so different before and after taking. THERE are moments when the meanest of women may feel a sisterly sympathy for her husband's first wife. |
| A WOMAN may have a great deal of difficulty
getting married the first time, but
after that it's easy, because where one man
leads the others will follow like a flock of
sheep.
THERE are so many ways of punishing a
refractory wife that the husband who cannot
find one is either a timid, mawkish
creature or—a gentleman.
WHEN a lawyer is slow about getting a
pretty woman her divorce it is because
he wants a chance to make love to her before
she is in a position to start a breach
of promise suit.
SOME men feel that the only thing they owe
the woman who marries them is a grudge.
BLUE BEARD isn't the only bridegroom
who ever went to the altar with a closet
full of dead loves on his conscience.
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