——One that has waited on a lady divers years, and understands all affairs in housekeeping and the needle, desires some such place. She seems a discreet, staid body.
At other times Houghton recommends “a tidy footman,” a “quick, well-looking fellow,” or “an extraordinary cook-maid;” and observes of a certain ladysmaid, who offered her services through his Collection, “and truly she looks and discourses passing well.” Occasionally he also guarantees the situation; thus, applying for “a suitable man that can read and write, and will wear a livery,” he adds for the information of flunkeys in general: “I believe that ’twill be a very good place, for ’tis to serve a fine gentleman whom I well know, and he will give £5 the year besides a livery.” Imagine Jeames of Belgravia being told he should have £5 for his important annual services! Another time “’tis to wait on a very valuable old batchelor gentleman in the City.” Again, he recommends a Protestant French gentleman, who is willing to wait on some person of quality, and Houghton adds, “from a valuable divine, my good friend, I have a very good character of him.” Of a certain surgeon, whom he advertises, he says, “I have known him, I believe, this twenty years.” All these recommendations bear an unmistakable character of truth and honesty on their face, and are very different from the commendatory paragraphs which nowadays appear in the body of a paper because of long advertisements which are to be found in the outer sheet. Nor is the worthy man ever willing to engage his word further than where he can speak by experience; in other cases, an “I believe,” or some such cautious expression, invariably appears. Recommending a hairdresser, he says—
——I know a peruke maker that pretends to make perukes extraordinary fashionable, and will sell good pennyworths; I can direct to him.
And once, when a number of quack advertisements had found their way into the paper, old Houghton, with a sly nod and a merry twinkle in his eye, almost apparent as one reads, drily puts his “index” above them, with the following caution:—
☞ Pray, mind the preface to this half sheet. Like lawyers, I take all causes. I may fairly; who likes not may stop here.
A tolerably broad hint of his disbelief in the said nostrums and elixirs. Even booksellers had to undergo the test of his ordeal, and having discovered some of their shortcomings, he warned them—
*** I desire all booksellers to send me no new titles to old books, for they will be rejected.
When a book of the right reverend father in God John Wilkins, late Bishop of Chester, was published, Houghton recommended it in patronising terms—
——I have read this book, and do think it a piece of great ingenuity, becoming the Bishop of Chester, and is useful for a great many purposes, both profit and pleasure.
Of another work he says—