As to the clearing up our duty in doubtful cases, observe, Lastly, That there is ever a bias to one way or the other; that we must seek to have this removed, and cry to God to bring our hearts to equal willingness to take either or neither way; that when this is attained, we must use our best reason, and take the way that appears most proper, though still crying to him, that he would put a stop to us, if we be out of the road. If he afforded light in any other particular way we must use it, still taking care, to seek light soberly, to use it tenderly, and to be wary in the application of it.
6. July 2, 1702. God about this time giving me somewhat of a revival from a long deadness, I think myself concerned to take notice of the means by which I obtained this benefit. And, 1. It was signally promoted by converse with zealous Christians. I found, that as iron sharpeneth iron, so doth the countenance of a man his friend. 2. By some heavy strokes laid upon me. 3. By terrible providences to the public. 4. By some papers seasonably brought to my hands, containing the exercise of some real Christians, wherein I saw how far short I was of them, and also not a few of the causes of my sadly withered and decayed state. 5. By some discovery of the vanity [♦]of my sweetest enjoyments. And, Lastly, By God’s leading me to some subjects, which I chose for others, wherein I found my own case remarkably touched.
[♦] duplicate word “of” removed
7. March 12, 1705. I was far out of order; “Lord pity and shine upon me.” At night I was somewhat refreshed in family-worship. In meditation hereon I saw unbelief was the root of all my misery. I was broken on account of it; I cried to God for relief, “O manifest thyself to my soul!” I was much grieved, that at a time when so many strange evils abound, there should be so strange a stupidity [♦]on my spirit, that I could not mourn for the dishonour done to God. I cried for a spirit of supplication and repentance.
[♦] “of” replaced with “on” per Errata
8. April 17, 1705. I was much disordered in body; but about seven at night I was a little relieved. Yet bowing my knees to prayer I was full of perplexity; the Lord hid himself, and my spirit was overwhelmed. But meeting with that scripture, Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; I found my mind composed; but, O, that it were with me as in months past!
9. February 24, 1706. Being the Lord’s day, I was sore shaken in the morning about the truths of God, but came to peace as to what I was to preach, in three things. “Lord thou hast fully satisfied me,” that 1. All other courses to satisfaction in our great concern, besides that of the gospel, are utterly vain and unsatisfactory. 2. That supposing the truth of the gospel, there is a plenary security as to all I can desire in time or in eternity. And [♦]3. That it can be only the wretched unbelief of my heart that makes me ever hesitate concerning the truth of it, seeing I have full evidence for it, far beyond what in other things would absolutely cut off all hesitation. I will look then for faith to the author of it: Lord I believe! help thou mine unbelief! Thou hast so fixed me in the belief of these three truths, that no temptation hath been able to shake me.
[♦] “5” replaced with “3”
10. In the spring, 1707. Some of the followers of Mrs. Bourignon coming into his parish, he laboured to guard his people against the infection of their specious errors. A short account whereof he gives in the following words:
April 20, 1707: This day the Lord directed me to strike at the root of the prevailing delusion, in opposition to which I taught.