Every man thinks he kan keep a hotel,
But O! how delusiv and rash,
For thare aint no kind ov bizzness so mixt,
Az doing a klean job in hash.
Q.–What iz pitty?
A.–Cheap charity.
Enny man who a skool haz kept
Ten years, (krewel fate allass!)
Ought tew hav hiz shuze pulled oph,
And be turned out tew grass.
MUSHANMILK BILLINGS.
HIS MEMORANDUM.
Mushanmilk Billings waz one ov mi earliest efforts in the way ov ansesstors. He was begot during the 11th or 12th sentury, or thareabouts. He derived hiz name from hiz grate ability tew conquer mush and milk. Titus Odistes, a celebrated writer in thoze days, sez he haz known him tew eat a potash kittle ov puddin and milk, at one sitting. I kant state whether this iz sutch or not, for i never met Mushanmilk personally. He died previous tew mi birth. Titus Odistes also sez, that Mushanmilk had a very sweet disposishun, how sweet, he dont tell us, but from what i kno ov the latter-day saints, amung the Billings family, it couldn't hav bin quite up tew the best brand ov Nu Orleans mollassiss. He waz sed tew be number One in modesty, and sitch like, but this dont exackly conspire with what i know ov the Billings'es. Cheeck haz alwus been reckoned amung our virtews. In taking a square look bak upon mi ansesstors, i find that they were rather a thin set. I find that their ambishun waz the result ov vanity. Their honesty the effekt ov edukashun. Their charity, the luv ov novelty. Their philosophy, able tew bear the stummuk-ake ov others with heroik fortitude, but not worth a kuss in their own; and their virteus generally, more the growth ov their pride than ov their humility. What a pitty! Echo answers, "Jiss so." Man iz an angleworm. He iz. Verily.