THE SPIDER.
One ov the most ingenious, and hardest workers amung the whole lot ov little bugs in kreashun iz the common spider. They will do more work on a web, in six hours, than a man could do in his whole life time, and do a mutch better job into the bargin. Spiders are the meanest reptiles that hang around the footstool, for they are the only ones that i kan think ov now, that set traps for their viktims. They are az mean az a man in this respekt. Thare iz no fun in a spider, he iz az lonesum az a mizer, he spends hiz whole life making webs, and watching them, and allways lays at the mouth ov hiz hole, reddy to back in out ov danger. A man will go out ov hiz way rather than step on a kricket, and would rather skare a fly than kill him, az sazzy az he iz, but he goes for a spider with both feet, and seems to feel melankolly if he happens to miss him. Spiders hav no friends in this world, and the reazon must be bekauze their naturs are viscious, and cunning. Theze two traits will make even man an outlaw, and they akt just the same way on the spider. I dispize the spider, and aint afraid to tell him so.
DREGS.
Every man thinks he iz the principal bull frog in the puddle, and rather than argy the case, i am willing to think so too.
Mizery luvs company but iz allwuss jealous,—there never waz a man yet but what thought hiz lame back was a good deal lamer than hiz nabors.
Q.–What iz a mint julep?
A.–A refuge for cheap whiskey.