PUNKIN PI.
Punkin pi iz the sass ov Nu England. They are vittles and drink, they are joy on the haff-shell, they are glory enuff for one day, and are good kold or warmed up. I would like to be a boy again, just for sixty minnitts, and eat miself phull ov the blessed old mixtur. Enny man who dont luv punkin pi, wants watching cluss, for he means to do sumthin mean the fust good chance he kan git. Giv me all the punkin pi i could eat, when i waz a boy, and i didn't kare whether sunday-skool kept that day or not. And now that i hav grown up to manhood, and hav run for the legislature once, and only got beat 856 votes, and am thoroly marrid, thare aint nothing i hanker for wuss, and kan bury quicker, than two-thirds ov a good old-fashioned punkin pi, an inch and a halff thik, and well smelt up, with ginger and nutmeg. Punkin pi iz the oldest Amerikan beverage i kno ov, and ought to go down to posterity with the trade mark ov our grandmothers on it; but i am afrade it wont, for it iz tuff even now to find one that tastes in the mouth at all az they did 40 years ago.
REMARKS.
Noboddy really luvs to be cheated, but it duz seem az tho every one waz anxious to see how near they could cum to it.
The wust tyrant in the world iz the wife ov a henpekt husband.
SAGITTARIUS, THE ARCHER.
Sarching for the Bulls Eye.
