Q.–When iz a ship az sick az her passengers are?
A.–When she heaves too.
Hornets now are on the wing,
Red hot, and crazy for to sting:
Oh, don't go ni the tarnal kritters!
For they are sure, and pizon hitters.
THE READDY ROOSTER.
Roosters are the pugilists among birds, and having no suitable shoulder tew strike from, they strike from the heel. When a rooster gits whipped the hens all march off with the other rooster if he aint haff so big, or so hansum. It is pluck that wins a hen. Roosters az a class wont do enny household work; yu kant git a rooster tew pay enny attenshun tew a yungone. They spend most ov their time in crowing and strutting, and once in a while they find a worm, which they make a grate fuss over, calling their wives up from a distance, apparently tew treat them, but jist az the hens git thare, this elegant cuss bends over, and gobbles up the worm.
Jist like a man for all the world!
HOUSEHOLD COMFORTS.
Tew git rid ov cockroaches,—sell yure house, and lot, and flee tew the mountains.