Tew make a man good mad,—starch hiz stockings a leetle too stiff.
Tew be one ov the "oldest inhabitants," remember very well, when yung Nebudkenezzer waz a babe.
Tew be happy,—eat molasses, and swing on a gate.
Q.–What did Joner do while in the whale's stumak?
A.–The best thing he did waz tew git out ov it.
Sweet cider now, and punkin pize,
And maidens fair, and doughnuts greasy:
Who wouldn't be a farmer's boy,
So phull ov phun, so free and eazy?
THE THOUGHTFUL FOX.
The Fox iz a literary bird; he waz a genius long before akedemick honors flourished; he waz a poet, skoller, and sage, before the days ov Homer and Herodotus; and in our times he iz the Ben Butler ov diplomacy, and the Brigham Yung ov matrimonial ethicks. The fox haz no moral honesty but he haz got a grate supply of politikal honesty. If another Fox in hiz parish wants a good phatt goose, he will work hard tew git him the goose, and having cleaned the meat all oph from the subburbs ov the goose, giv hiz politikal friend the bones, telling him with a smile in hiz eye, "that every thing iz lovely and the goose hangs hi."