PROBABILITIZ.
Ambrozial weather will permeate all around Pordunk for the next 16 months, with rain and snow; and all sorts ov stuff in the ballance ov the United States of America.
The probabilitiz iz that the abuv probabilitiz will assimilate themselfs tew the principal probabilitiz in the case.
If they don't, du notiss will be giv.
In the mean time be kalm, be dignified, and don't be skeered.
JANUARY MISSCELLANY.
ARIES, THE ZODIAK RAM.
Aries is a latin ram. He is kompozed ov wool all over, and horns in front. How Aries, the ram, got into the zodiak bothers me to this day, but he probably jumpt in out ov sumboddys back lot. This is all owing tew bad fences. Aries waz born soon after the diskovery ov this world by Kaptain Kook, the perambulator. Since the days ov Aries the hydraulik ram haz been born, a very hard ram tew fleece. Aries haz the post ov honor amung the sighns in the zodiak, and presides over the head ov the human anatomy. This iz a just kompliment tew hiz kapacity for putting a hed onto things. Aries, the ram, tho he haz no literary pretenshuns, haz made menny brilliant hits in hiz day.