Q.–Whi iz the kodfish like a sailor?
A.–Bekauze he iz an old salt.
'Twas Joels way t' stop hiz kart,
At every hous and shop,
Fust tew tell a bit ov nuze,
And then propoze tew swop.
MAY MISSCELLANY.
SKORPIO, THE ZODIAK SKORPION.
Next to the hornet, the skorpion seems tew me to be pretty mutch all ded loss. I never had mutch faith in enny kind ov a kritter who waz bilt only tew bite. Skorpions do the best in a hot naberhood. If a man should take all the skorpions in the world up into the northern part ov Nu Hampshire he would loze money on them. They wouldn't thaw out thare in time for bizzness. I never hav seen a skorpion only in the zodiak, and i aint sorry for this. If thare should ever be a fite in the zodiak i hope it will be krab and skorpion. This would be a fite in which no one would care whitch whipt. I kant tell yu just now how the skorpion got aboard ov the zodiak, but bi looking at hiz piktur i should say he stood 2 good chances tew do it, one waz tew enter hed fust, and the other waz to change ends and go in that way.
FOUND.
A malteese soprano kat, about 12 months old, singing old hundred on a picket fence, late last thursda nite, whichever person owns sed kat will find him (or her, according tew circumstansis) in a vakant lot, just bak ov our hous, still butiful in death.