OCTOBER MISSCELLANY.
LIBRA, THE ZODIAK SKALES.
Sixteen ounces to the pound wrongs no man. I dont want enny better evidence that things are strikly on the square in the zodiak than the fakt, that they keep a pair ov skales up thare, and they are alwus level. Thare iz a grate deal ov native honesty in a pair of skales. When i begun life, i looked upon every boddy az honest az a pair ov skales, but the skales hav dropt oph from my eyes since, and i begin tew look upon things more az they am. I look upon every man now az strikly honest, who kan prove it. I want honesty weighed out to me just az i do mi sassage, 16 ounces tew the pound. Honesty that lacks an ounce in every pound aint worth a kuss. The ounce that iz lacking iz just what beats us. In the zodiak concern Libra holds the reins over the anitomikal hoss.
THINGS THAT KAN BE DID.
One ov the smartest things a man kan do, iz to drink peper sass.
One ov the safest things a man kan do, iz to ride a saw hoss.
One ov the surest things a man kan do, iz tew slip up on the ice.
One ov the lazyest things a man kan do, iz tew eat soup with a fork.