I serpose thare is between 50 and 60 millions of rats in Amerika (i quote now entirely from memory,) and i don't serpose thare is a single necessary rat in the whole lot. This shows at a glance how menny waste rats thare is. Rats enhance in numbers, faster than shoe pegs do by machinery. One pair ov helthy rats is awl that enny man wants tew start the rat bissiness with, and in ninety days, without enny outlay, he will begin tew hav rats,—tew turn oph.
Rats viewed from enny platform yu kan bild, are unspeakably cussid, and i would be willing tew make enny man who would destroy awl the rats in the United States, a valuable keepsake, say for instance either the life and sufferings ov Andy Johnson, in one vollum calf bound, or a receipt tew kure the blind staggers.
LXIII.
GIMBLITS.
When a man loses hiz health then he fust begins tew take good care on it. This iz good judgment! this iz!
Most people decline tew learn only bi their own experiense. I guess they are more than ½ right, for I don't serpoze a man can git a perfek idee on molasses kandy bi letting another feller taste it for him.
It iz a getting so no-a-daze if a man kant cheat in sum way he aint happy.