A dog iz the only animal kritter, who luvs yu more than he luvs himself.
Thare iz no more real satisfackshun, in laying up in yure buzzum an injury than thare iz in stuffing a dead hornet, who haz stung you, and keeping him tew look at.
Old friends, are like old cheeze, the strongest.
Lies are like illegitimate children, they are liable tew call a man “Father,” when he least expekts it.
All money that iz well spent, iz a good investment.
If we would all ov us take kare ov our own souls, and let our nabors alone, thare would be less time lost, and more souls saved.
Before i would preach the gospel az some ministers are obliged to, for 450 dollars a year, i would git a living az Nebudkenezzer did, and let the congregashun go tew grass to.
Contentment is the vittles, and drink ov the soul.
Did yu ever hear a son bragging about hiz father, whoze father could with justiss, brag about hiz son?
The safest kind ov faith i kno ov, iz humility.