Thare are but dredful phew people who kan talk ten minnits tew yu without lugging into the conversashun their bak or stummuk akes.
PHISH BAWLS.
Sins are the only things that I repent ov, i never could make ennything repenting ov blunders.
I thank the Lord for this, we all ov us hav some good thing tew lay our bad luk to besides ourselfs.
Whisky friends are the most unprofitable ones i kno ov, they are alwus reddy tew drink with yu, but when yu are reddy tew drink with them, then they aint dry.
I look upon a pure joke with the same venerashun that i do upon the 10 commandments.
Yu kant hire a man tew be honest, he will want hiz wages raized every morning.
The most suckcessful men i hav ever known, are those who are konstantly making blunders, but never seem tew kno it.
I kno plenty ov folks who are so kondem kontrary, that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating up stream.
One ov the most reliable phrophets i kno ov iz an old hen, they dont phrophesy enny egg, untill after the egg haz happened.