Bizzy boddys are like pissmires, alwus in a grate hurry about nothing.
One grate reazon whi every boddy likes the falls ov Niagara so mutch iz, bekauze no one kan make one like it.
Thare iz sum hope ov a man who iz wicked, but not weak.
Debt iz like enny other kind ov a trap, eazy enuff tew git into, but hard enuff tew git out ov.
Thare iz no kind ov flattery so powerful, so subtle, and at the same time so agreeable az deference.
Bare necessitys will support life no doubt, so will the works support a watch, but they both want greasing once in a while, jist a leetle.
Philosophy iz a very good kind ov a teacher, and yu may be able tew liv by it, but yu kant liv on it—hash will tell.
Lazyness weighs eighteen ounces to the pound.
The history ov life iz tew hope and be disapointed, the viktory iz to “never say die.”
The way tew Fame iz like klimbing a greast pole; thare aint but phew kan do it, and even then it don’t pay.