I am glad ov one thing, that i am keenly alive tew mental and phisikal suffering—i had az soon be a hydraulik ram az tew be able to sit down and hav a big dubble tooth jerked out without winking.
Thare are but phew men weak enuff tew admit their jealousys—even a disgraced rooster, in a barn-yard, will git a little further off and begin tew crow up a new reputashun.
Thare haz been more men in this world burnt at the stake for serving the Lord than for serving the devil, and thare alwus will be.
I alwus did admire the malice ov the mule—if a freak ov fortune had made me as unfortunate among men az the mule iz amung animals, i would begin tew kick at things a mile and a haff off.
Men no doubt owe mutch ov their suckcess in this world tew chance, but chances dont go for a man, the man must go for the chances.
Econeme iz simply the art ov gitting the wuth ov our money.
Tew work iz the grate law ov natur—if the woodchuck dont dig a hole he wont hav one, it iz trew he may steal one, but then sum other woodchuck will have tew dig two.
Human happiness iz a dredful hard thing tew define. I hav seen a man, perfektly happy without enny shirt tew hiz back, bekum suddenly furious bekauze sumboddy had given him one, the collar ov which wan’t starched stiff enuff.
Thare iz a grate deal ov bad luk lieing around loose in this world, but it iz publick property, it dont belong tew ennyboddy in pertikular.
Things haz got so now, if a man stops, he iz a-going tew be run over, for thare aint no man ov consequentz enuff tew stop the whole proceshun.