How strange it iz that most men had rather be flattered for possessing what they hav not, than to be justly praised for having what they possess.
Suavity ov manners towards men iz like suavity ov molassis toward flies, it not only calls them to you, but sticks them fast after they git thare.
Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.
Exchanging kompliments iz another name for exchanging lies.
The greatest thief this world haz ever produced iz Procrastination, and he is still at large.
Religion iz nothing more than a chattel mortgage, excepted, and rekorded, az sekurity for a man’s morality, and virtew.
White lies are sed tew be innocent, but i am satisfied that enny man who will lie for phun, after a while will lie for wages.
The most valuable thing in this world iz Time, and yet people waste it as they do water, most of them letting it run full head, and even the most prudent let it drizzle.
The devil himself, with all hiz genius, allways travels under an alias—this shows the power of truth and morality.
If a dog falls in love with you at first sight, it will do to trust him—not so with a man.