Blessed iz he who kan pocket abuse, and feel that it iz no disgrace to be bit by a dog.
Punishments, tew hit the spot, should be few, but red-hot.
Happyness consists in being perfektly satisfied with what we hav got, and what we haint got.
We are told that ritches takes wings and flies out ov sight, and i hav known them tew take the proprietor along with them.
Blessed iz the man who kan eat hash with a clear conscience, for hiz heart must be full ov pitty.
I hav seen those who were az full ov awl sorts ov learning az the heavens are ov wind; they are just the things to cut up into weather-cocks.
If a man iz thoroughly satisfied with himself, he will be very well satisfied with evrybody else.
“Blessed are the meek and lowly” (and very lucky, too, if they don’t git their noze pulled.)
If death iz an evil, birth iz a greater one.
One ov the fussyest scenes I ever listened to, waz two old maids, waiting on one sick bachelor.