What iz a lawyer?—What iz a merchant?—What iz a doktor?—What iz a minister?—I answer, nothing!
A farmer iz the nobless work ov God; he rizes at 2 o’clock in the morning, and burns out a haff a pound ov wood and two kords ov kandels, and then goes out tew worry the geese and stir up the hogs.
Beloved farmers, adew.
A TEMPRANSE KLUB.
Feeling the grate need miself, ov a klub ov sum kind, i hav organized a tempranse klub, and am anxious tew take into the buzzom ov the klub, enny party, who haz fair moral papers, and who iz not over 5 feet and 9 inches in hite.
Sum few ov the leading artikles ov faith, bi wich the klub iz tew be navigated, will be found, on examinashun, to be az follows:
Single admishuns tew the klub 50 cents, or three admishuns for one dollar.
Fast yung men admitted at 5 per cent diskount from our regular rates.
The coat ov arms ov this klub iz a glass ov cold water, with a pickle in it.
The password iz—a sweet breath.