The principal objekt ov this klub iz to kultivate soshul sentiments without the aid ov whisky.
We sollumly beleave that whisky iz only good for the injuns.
Thoze who are in the habit ov paying a dollar for a drink, not admitted, such folks are too respektabel.
No female admitted unless she wants to git her husband to change a bill, and see what iz going on.
We are opposed to all prohibitory laws, except for hoss stealing, and the like.
We beleave man iz a free moral kritter, but full ov cussidness, and if he iz determined tew eat tuff beef, and drink pizon whisky, we hold that he probably will.
One ov the prinsipal objekts ov this klub iz tew find out which haz got the most spirit in it, a man, or a quart ov whisky.
If a man kant keep from gitting dry without being put under bonds, he must jine sum other tempranse klub.
This klub haz no pollytiks, nor no religion, enny man kan belong tew this klub, and vote even the dimokratik tiket, and tend the presbeterian, or hard shell babtisst meeting house.