Mi private opinyun ov molassis iz, that while it iz dreadful sweet, it iz dreadful sticky too.
Mi private opinyun ov dogs iz, that their affeckshun ought almost tew make them immortal.
Mi private opinyun ov cats iz, that Judas Iskarriot ought tew hav owned the fust one, and the last one too.
My private opinyun ov a mule iz, that he never waz known tew hit enny thing he kouldn’t reach, but iz alwus reddy tew try it.
Mi private opinyun ov miself iz that while i keep both eyes on mi nabor I hope they wont fail tew keep one eye on me.
My private opinyun iz that here iz a good place tew halt, and i am a big phool if i don’t halt.
A SUGGESTSHUN.
The morning paper iz just az necessary for an Amerikan az dew iz to the grass.
Hot kakes and kaughphy, kodphish bawls, and hash are useful, but the morning paper iz vittles and drink.
An Amerikan who haz not red the morning nuze iz not more than haff edukated for that day; he goes tew hiz bizzness haff-doubtful and haff-ashamed ov himself; he iz afrade tew look hiz nabor in the face, and ackts az ignorant az a man in a strange land who don’t understand the language.