Mi private opinyun ov angels on arth, az far az I hav sarched iz—from fair to midling.
Mi private opinyun ov a braggart iz—that he iz a sheep in wolf’s clothing.
Mi private opinyun ov a prude iz, that their gratest anxiety iz tew have their propriety tempted.
My private opinyun ov a coquet iz, that if they suckceed in dieing an old maid, they don’t deserve all the punishment they receive.
Mi private opinyun ov woman iz, that she iz a natral brick, and she iz a phool just in proporshun that she don’t kno it.
Mi private opinyun ov mothers-in-law iz, that they seldum stop short ov their mishun, but are fully equal tew the ockashun.
Mi private opinynn ov boys iz, if i hadn’t been one once miself, and a tuff one at that, i should feel like sending the whole ov them, for life, to Botany Bay.
Mi private opinyun ov girls iz, the same az it waz 40 years ago, when i fust phell in luv with one ov them.
Mi private opinyun ov the mass ov mankind iz, that they hav got more branes in their hearts than they hav in their heds, and i ain’t sorry for it neither.
Mi private opinyun iz, that politeness haz won more sudden viktorys than logick haz.