My private opinyun ov sektarian religion iz—that it iz like sider drawn from a musty kask, it alwus tastes ov the kask. Thoze who at last enter Heaven may find the outer walls plakarded with kreeds, but they wont find enny on the inside.
Mi private opinyun iz—that virtew iz better than gold, but i also hav bin told that 10 dollars in gold will go farther towards bilding a church, or a hoss ralerode, than all the piety ov Moses.
Mi private opinyun ov human natur iz—that it is like a setting hen, just as krazy tew set whare thare aint no egs as whare thare iz.
Mi private opinyun ov Adam iz—that without enny experience at all, in running the machine, he dun jist as well as the man ov to-day would do, let him step into Paradise to-morrow.
Mi private opinyun ov sparking iz—that az a rekreashun, it iz delightful, but when it settles down into a stiddy bizzness, it iz like hash 3 times a day, rather mixt phood.
Mi private opinyun iz—that the man who mistakes a surly temper for superior intelligence, iz like a toothless kur, who got whipt in hiz last fite, and iz a going tew git lickt in his next one.
Mi private opinyun iz—that a young man oftner neglekts hiz genius for sawing wood than he does for writing poetry.
Mi private opinyun iz—that adversity and temtashun are the very best kind ov tests ov virtew.
Mi private opinyun ov all bores iz—that the gimblet kind iz the most sarching.
Mi private opinyun ov human happiness iz—that it iz like Joner’s gourd, it often looses in a nite all that it gru in a day.