Mi private opinyun iz—that originality in writing waz played out long ago, and the very best that enny man kan do, iz tew steal with good judgement, and then own it like a man.
Mi private opinyun iz—that the most that learning kan do for us, iz tew teach us how little we kno.
Mi private opinyun ov civilashun iz—that it alwus ends in luxury, and luxury alwus ends in destruckshun. The barbarians hav alwus outlasted the Christians, i am dredful sorry for this, but i kant help it.
Mi private opinyun ov dandys iz—that they are moraly hybrid, and i guess they are other ways too.
Mi private opinyun iz—that when a man haint got enny thing tew say, then iz the best time not tew say it.
My private opinyun iz—that sum men did aktually spring from the monkey, and didn’t hav fur tew spring neither.
Mi private opinyun ov Rum iz—that the man who sells it to hiz fello man iz wuss than a hiwayman—the hiwayman demands yure munny or yure life—the rumseller demands both.
Mi private opinyun ov “Wimmin’s Rites” iz—that natur haz fixt them jist about rite, and natur never underlets a kontrakt, nor baks out ov a posishun.
Mi private opinyun iz—that humorous lektures kan never be a suckcess, for two reasons—one iz, bekauze most people look upon the men who makes them laff az vastly inferior to them, and the other iz, bekauze a writer in the Atlantik Monthly sez so.