If you want tew take the starch out ov a novelty, just set it to work at sumthing useful, it bekums inelegant to onst.
The moshun ov the velosipead iz produced bi the action ov the leggs—or rather, the action ov the pedal extremetys, the word leggs iz altogether too obscene for every man to use, who ever expekts tew run for the legislatur, or be caught in the sosiety ov refined people.
This fakt iz sufficiently explained tew the latin skollar, who understands that “velosipeads” iz manufakterd out ov two forrin words, “veloss” and “pedoss,” which vulgarily means “lively leggs,” but politely means, “pedal swiftness.”
If a man don’t understand latin now a daze, he kant hardly enjoy the conversashun ov a hod carrier.
The velosipead iz not a modern discovery; long before the days of Adam, and Eve, they waz in use.
The heathen gods had them, with one wheel to them, and history tells us ov a grate expert, one Ixion, who got onto the side ov one ov them, and traveled all over the Olympian country.
I hav seen them miself with only one wheel to them, theze had two handles, which protruded out behind, and were propelled by a shove moshun.
Theze were fust discovered in Ireland, and I think are called “wheelbarrows,” or sumthing that sounds like that.
This is all i kno now about the velosipeads.