I kant tell yu whether an oyster haz got enny pheelings or not, but i kno they hav excellent taste, espeshily the saddle roks.
They hav more taste than judgement, and tho they are called muscles, they have no muskaler strength.
They are also called “bivalves” bi the unlearned, but this iz a vulgarism.
The true name iz “good-bye valves,” a term of affeckshun applied tew them, when they waz fust swallowed whole oph from the haff shell.
If you will ponder into history, az i hav, yu will find menny sitch thing az this tew provoke yure gratitude and wisdum.
Giv mi love tew yure sister Amelia, and tell her, that i say, she haz got what but phew wimmin hav, who hav got az mutch buty, she haz got a sweet temper.
A sweet temper always grows brighter with age, while buty iz extra hazardous, and perishable goods.
WIMMINS RIGHTS. DOG TALK. CORRESPONDENCE.
Mi Dear Miss Jemima Josephine Jenkins:
I received your kind letter on time, asking me tew impart mi influence tew prokure for yu the privilege (and sundry and divers other females in yure school deestrikt) tew vote, and hav offis, and do the same things that men do.