Occasional Thoughts in Reference to a Vertuous or Christian life

by Lady Damaris Masham

The Law of Fashion, establish'd by Repute and Disrepute, is to most People the powerfullest of all Laws, as Monsieur Bruyere very well knew; whose too Satyrical Genius makes him assign as Causes of Womens not having Knowledge, the universally necessary consequences of being bred in the want thereof. But what on different occasions he says of the Sex, will either on the one part vindicate them, or else serve for an Instance that this Ingenious Writers Reflections, however witty, are not always instructive, or just Corrections. For either Women have generally some other more powerful Principle of their Actions than what terminates in rendering themselves pleasing to Men (as he insinuates they have not) or else they neglect the improvement of their Minds and Understandings, as not finding them of any use to that purpose; whence it is not equal in him to charge it peculiarly (as he does) upon that Sex (if it be indeed so much chargeable on them as on Men) that they are diverted from Science by une curiosité toute differente de celle qui contente l'Espirt: ou un tout autre gout que celuy d'exercer leur Memoire.

Yet since I think it is but Natural, and alike so in both Sexes, to desire to please the other, I may, I suppose, without any Injurious Reflexion upon Ladies, presume, that if Men did usually find Women the more amiable for being knowing, they would much more commonly, than now they are, be so.

But the Knowledge hitherto spoken of has a nobler Aim than the pleasing of Men, and begs only Toleration from them; in granting whereof they would at least equally consult their own advantage: as they could not but find, did They not by a common Folly, incident to Humane Nature, hope that contradictions should subsist together in their Favour; from whence only it is that very many who would not that Women should have Knowledge, do yet complain of, and very impatiently bear the Natural, and unavoidable consequences of their Ignorance.

But what sure Remedy can be found for Effects whose Cause remains? and on what ground can it be expected that Ignorance and uninstructed Persons should have the Venues which proceed from a rightly inform'd Understanding, and well cultivated Mind? or not be liable to those Vices which their Natures incline them to? And how should it otherwise be than that they, who have never consider'd the Nature and Constitution of Things, or weigh'd the Authority of the Divine Law, and what it exacts of them, should be perswaded that nothing can be so truly profitable to them as the Indulgence of their present Passions, and Appetites? Which whoso places their Happiness in the satisfaction of, cannot fail of being themselves miserable, or of making those so who are concern'd in them.

Humane Nature is not capable of durable satisfaction when the Passions and Appetites are not under the direction of right Reason: And whilst we eagerly pursue what disappoints our expectation, or cloys with the Enjoyment, as all irregular pleasures, however Natural, do; and whilst we daily create to our selves desires still more vain, as thinking thereby to be supply'd with new Delights, we shall ever (instead of finding true Contentment) be subjected to uneasiness, disgust and vexation: The unhappy state more, or less, of all who want that Knowledge which is requisite to direct their Actions suitably to the Ends which as rational Creatures they ought to propose: and as can inable them profitably to employ their Time.

But since Examples do the best perswade, let us see, with respect to Women, in the most considerable Instances, what plainly are the Natural consequences of that Ignorance which they usually are bred in; and which Men think so advantageous to themselves. We will suppose then a Lady bred, as the generality of Men think she should be, in a blind belief concerning Religion; and taught that it is even ridiculous for a Lady to trouble her Head about this matter; since it is so far from being a Science fit for her, that it indeed properly belongs only to Gown-Men: and that a Woman very well Merits to be laugh'd at who will act the Doctor: Her Duty in the case being plain and easie; as requiring only of her to believe and practice what she is taught at Church, or in such Books of Piety as shall be recommended to her by her Parents, or some Spiritual Director.

This is generally, I think, the Sense of Men concerning the Knowledge which Ladies ought to have of Religion: And thus much, I doubt not may suffice for their Salvation. But the saving of their Souls (tho' it were herein as sure as it is possible) is not, I suppose, all that Men are Solicitous for in regard of their Wives; their own Honour in that of those so near to them, does I think, much more frequently and sensibly employ their Care: And that, too often, appears to be but very weakly secur'd by such an implicit Faith as this. For these Believers (especially if they are thought to have any Wit, as well as Beauty) will hardly escape meeting some time or other, with those who will ask them why they Believe; and if they find then that they have no more Reason for going to Church than they should have had to go to Mass, or even to the Synagogue, had they been bred amongst Papists or Jews, they must needs, at the same time, doubt whether, or no, the Faith they have been brought up in, is any righter than either of these; from whence they will, (by easy steps) be induc'd to question the Truth of all Religion, when they shall be told by those who have insinuated themselves into their Esteem and good Graces, that indeed All Religions are, alike, the Inventions and Artifices of cunning Men to govern the World by; unworthy of imposing upon such as have their good Sense: That Fools only, and Ignorants are kept in Awe, and restrain'd by their Precepts; which, if they observe it, they shall ever find, are the lest obey'd by those who pretend the most to obtrude them upon others.

That this is Language which Women often hear is certain: And such a one as knows no reason for what she has been taught to believe, but has been reprov'd, perhaps, for demanding one, can very hardly avoid being perswaded that there is much appearance of Truth in this; whence she will soon come to conclude, that she has hitherto been in the wrong, if upon any scruple of Religion, she has not gratify'd her Inclination, in whatever she imagines might tend to make her Life more pleasing to her. And should a young Lady, thus dispos'd, find a Lover whom she thinks has a just value for all her good Qualities, which at best, perhaps, procure her but the cold Civility of her Husband, it is odds that she may be in danger of giving him cause to wish she had been better instructed, than may possibly suffice for her Salvation: Which, whatever happens, none can pronounce, may not be secur'd from the allowances due to so great Ignorance, or at least by any timely Repentance: Whilst Honour, if not intirely Ship-wrack'd, it is scarce reasonable to hope, should suffer no Diminution on such an occasion; the which, that Women the most vertuously dispos'd, may never be within distance of, will, in an Age like this, be best provided for by their being betimes instructed in the true Reasons and Measures of their Duty; since those, who are so, are not only better able to defend their Vertue, but have also the seldomest occasion for such a defence. Men, how ill soever inclin'd, being aw'd by, and made asham'd to attaque with so pittiful Arguments, as Vice admits of, such as they see are rationally Vertuous; whilst easy ignorance is look'd upon as a Prey expos'd to every bold Invader: And whatever Garb of Gravity or Modesty it is cloath'd withal, invites such very often, even where the Charms of the Person would not otherwise attract them.

But as such Men who think that the understanding of Religion is a thing needless to Women, do commonly much more believe all other rational Knowledge to be so; let us see how reasonably these same Men who willingly allow not to Ladies any employment of their Thoughts worthy of them as rational Creatures, do yet complain, that either Play is their daily and expensive pastime; or that they love not to be at home taking care of their Children, as did heretofore Ladies who were honour'd for their Vertue; but that an eternal round of idle Visits, the Park, Court, Play-houses and Musick Meetings, with all the costly Preparations to being seen in publick, do constantly take up their Time and their Thoughts. For how heavy an Accusation soever this, in itself, is, may it not justly be demanded of such Men as we have spoken of, what good they imagine Mothers who understand nothing that is fit for their Children to know, should procure to them by being much in their Company: And next, whether they indeed think it equitable to desire to confine Ladies to spend the best part of their Lives in the Society and company of little Children; when to play with them as a more entertaining sort of Monkeys or Parroquets, is all the pleasing Conversation that they are capable of having with them? For no other Delight can ignorant Women take in the Company of young Children; and if to desire this, is not equitable or just, must it not be concluded, that the greatest part of those, who make the above-mention'd Complaints, do really mean nothing else thereby, but, by a colourable and handsome pretence, to oblige their Wives, either to be less expensive, or to avoid, it may be, the occasions of gaining Admirers which may make them uneasy? Neither can such, possibly, be presum'd upon any Principle of Vertue, to disapprove those ways of anothers spending their Time, or Mony, which themselves will either upon no consideration forbear; or else do so only, from a preference of things as little, or yet less reasonable; as Drinking, Gaming, or Lew'd Company. Such Persons of both Sexes as These, are indeed but fit Scourges to chastise each others Folly; and they do so sufficiently, whilst either restraint on the one side begets unconquerable hatred and aversion; or else an equal indulgence puts all their Affairs into an intire confusion and disorder: Whence Want, mutual ill Will, Disobedience of Children, their Extravagance, and all the ill effects of neglected Government, and bad Example follow; till they make such a Family a very Purgatory to every one who lives in it. And as the Original cause of all these mischiefs is Peoples not living like rational Creatures, but giving themselves up to the blind Conduct of their Desires and Appetites; so all who in any measure do thus, will accordingly, more or less, create vexation to each other, because it is impossible that they should ever be at ease, or contented in their own Minds.

There being then so very few reasonable People in the World, as are, that is to say, such who indeavour to live conformably to the Dictates of Reason, submitting their Passions and Appetites to the Government and Direction of that Faculty which God has given them to that end; what wonder can it be that so few are happy in a Marry'd Estate? And how little cause is there to charge their Infelicity, as often is done, upon this Condition, as if it were a necessary Consequence thereof?