[123]. frueris nomine Pius; fueris nonne M.
[124]. reliquum iam Orelli; reliquia M.
though a poor one, in the thought that I need not grieve for him—not for the same reason as Saufeius and your Epicurean friends, but because he was so true a patriot that it seems as though a merciful providence had snatched him from his country’s fiery ruin. For what could be more shameful than the life we are all leading, especially myself? You, in spite of a political bent, have avoided wearing any special yoke; but you share the universal bondage. But think of the sufferings I undergo, when I am taken for a lunatic, if I say what I ought about the State, for a slave, if I say what expediency dictates, and for a cowed and helpless bondsman, if I hold my tongue. I suffer as you may suppose, with the added bitterness that I cannot show my grief without seeming ungrateful. Well! why shouldn’t I take a rest, and flee to the haven of retirement? I haven’t the chance. Then be it war and camp. And so I must be a subaltern, after refusing to be a captain. So be it. That I see is your opinion, and I wish I had always followed your advice. Hobson’s choice[[125]] is all that is left to me. But upon my soul I can’t stomach it, and have a fellow feeling for Philoxenus, who preferred to go back to his prison.[[126]] However, I am spending my time here devising a way of confounding their policy, and when we meet you will strengthen my purpose.
I see your letters were written at several times, but I received them all together, and that increased
[125]. Lit. “Sparta has fallen to your lot, do it credit,” a phrase denoting that one has no choice. Cf. p. [95].
[126]. Philoxenus of Cythera, a dithyrambic poet, was condemned to the quarries for criticizing the literary compositions of Dionysius of Syracuse. He was given a chance of freedom, if he altered his opinion; but preferred to return to the quarries.
meum. Casu enim trinas ante legeram, quibus meliuscule Lentulo esse scriptum erat. Ecce quartae fulmen! Sed ille, ut scripsi, non miser, nos vero ferrei.
Quod me admones, ut scribam illa Hortensiana, in alia incidi non immemor istius mandati tui; sed mehercule in incipiendo refugi, ne, qui videor stulte illius amici intemperiem non tulisse, rursus stulte iniuriam illius faciam inlustrem, si quid scripsero, et simul ne βαθύτης mea, quae in agendo apparuit, in scribendo sit occultior, et aliquid satisfactio levitatis habere videatur. Sed viderimus; tu modo quam saepissime ad me aliquid. Epistulam, Lucceio nunc quam misi, qua, meas res ut scribat, rogo, fac ut ab eo sumas (valde bella est) eumque, ut adproperet, adhorteris et, quod mihi se ita facturum rescripsit, agas gratias, domum nostram, quoad poteris, invisas, Vestorio aliquid significes. Valde enim est in me liberalis.
VII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
Scr. in Arpinati m. Apr. aut Mai. a. 698