I have no doubt my daily letter must bore you, especially as I have no fresh news, nor can I find any new excuse for a letter. If I should employ special messengers to convey my chatter to you without reason, I should be a fool: but I cannot refrain from entrusting letters to folk who are bound for Rome, especially when they are members of my household. Believe me, too, when I seem to talk with you, I have some little relief from sorrow, and, when I read a letter from you, far greater relief. I am quite aware that there has been no time, since fear drove me to flight, when silence and no letters would have been more appropriate, for the good reason that there is no fresh news at Rome, nor here—two or three days' journey nearer Brundisium. The issue of this first campaign will turn entirely on the action at Brundisium: and I am on thorns to hear the result. However, all will be known by the 7th. On the noon of the day (that is the 21st of February), on the morning of which Pompey left Canusium, I see that Caesar set out from Corfinium. But Caesar marches in such a way, and so spurs his men with largess, that I fear he may reach Brundisium sooner than we
opus sit, accesserit. Dices: "Quid igitur proficis, qui anticipes eius rei molestiam, quam triduo sciturus sis?" Nihil equidem; sed, ut supra dixi, tecum perlibenter loquor, et simul scito labare meum consilium illud, quod satis iam fixum videbatur. Non mihi satis idonei sunt auctores ii, qui a te probantur. Quod enim umquam eorum in re publica forte factum exstitit? aut quis ab iis ullam rem laude dignam desiderat? Nec mehercule laudandos existimo, qui trans mare belli parandi causa profecti sunt. Quamquam haec ferenda non erant. Video enim, quantum id bellum et quam pestiferum futurum sit. Sed me movet unus vir; cuius fugientis comes, rem publicam recuperantis socius videor esse debere. "Totiensne igitur sententiam mutas?" Ego tecum tamquam mecum loquor. Quis autem est, tanta quidem de re quin varie secum ipse disputet? simul et elicere cupio sententiam tuam, si manet, ut firmior sim, si mutata est, ut tibi adsentiar. Omnino ad id, de quo dubito, pertinet me scire, quid Domitius acturus sit, quid noster Lentulus.
De Domitio varia audimus, modo esse in Tiburti haut lepide, modo cum Lepidis[74] accessisse ad urbem, quod item falsum video esse. Ait enim Lepidus eum nescio quo penetrasse itineribus occultis occultandi sui causa an maris apiscendi, ne is quidem scit. Ignorat etiam de filio. Addit illud sane molestum, pecuniam Domitio satis grandem, quam is Corfini habuerit, non esse redditam. De Lentulo autem nihil audimus. Haec velim exquiras ad meque perscribas.
[74] aut lepidi quo cum lepidus M: the reading of the text is that of Tyrrell, who suspects a pun on the name Lepidus.
want. You may wonder why I forestall disagreeable tidings which will be known in three days' time. I have no reason, except, as I said before, that I love to talk to you; and at the same time I want you to know that what I had counted my fixed resolve is shaken. The precedents you quote with approval don't quite fit my case. They are those of men who have never distinguished themselves by great political action, and are not looked up to for any act of merit. Nor, let me tell you, have I any praise for those who have crossed the sea to make preparations for war—unbearable as things here were. For I foresee how great and calamitous that war will be. I am influenced only by one man, whom I think I ought to accompany in flight, and help in the restoration of the constitution. I may seem variable; but I talk with you as I talk with myself, and there is no one who, in such a crisis, does not view matters in many lights. Moreover, I want to get your opinion, to encourage me, if you have not changed it, or otherwise to win my assent. It is particularly necessary for me to know in my dilemma what course Domitius and my friend Lentulus will take.
As for Domitius I hear many reports: at one time that he is at Tibur out of sorts, at another that he has consorted with the Lepidi in their march to Rome. That I see is untrue. For Lepidus says that he is following a hidden path, but whether to hide or reach the sea even he does not know. Lepidus has no news about his son either. He adds a provoking detail, that Domitius has failed to get back a large sum of money which he had at Corfinium. Of Lentulus I have no news. Please make inquiries on these points and inform me.