V
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Brundisium, Nov. 4, B.C. 48
What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see. Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the matter.
For my part I have gathered from your letters—both that which you wrote in conjunction with others and the one you wrote in your own name—what I saw myself too, that you are somewhat disconcerted by my sudden move, and are looking for some new means of protecting me. I don't quite see how I can do as you suggest and come nearer to Rome, travelling through towns at night. For I have not suitable stopping-places to spend all the days in; nor, for the point you are aiming at, does it much matter whether I am seen in towns or on the road. However I will consider how this plan, as well as others, can most conveniently be carried out.
I am so fearfully upset both in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters; I have only answered those who have written to me. I should like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you like, even to Servilius, and say whatever you think fit. From this letter you will quite understand that the reason why I have not written to you at all for such a long time, is that I
intellegis rem mihi desse, de qua scribam, non voluntatem.
Quod de Vatinio quaeris, neque illius neque cuiusquam mihi praeterea officium desset, si reperire possent, qua in re me iuvarent. Quintus aversissimo a me animo Patris fuit. Eodem Corcyra filius venit. Inde profectos eos una cum ceteris arbitror.