Scr. in Puteolano prid. Id. Mai. a. 710
Certior a Pilia factus mitti ad te Idibus tabellarios statim hoc nescio quid exaravi. Primum igitur scire te volui me hinc Arpinum XVI Kalend. Iun. Eo igitur mittes, si quid erit posthac; quamquam ipse iam iamque adero. Cupio enim, antequam Romam venio, odorari diligentius, quid futurum sit. Quamquam vereor, ne nihil coniectura aberrem. Minime enim obscurum est, quid isti moliantur; meus vero discipulus, qui hodie apud me cenat, valde amat illum, quem Brutus noster sauciavit. Et, si quaeris (perspexi enim plane), timent otium; ὑπόθεσιν autem hanc habent eamque prae se ferunt, clarissimum virum interfectum, totam rem publicam illius interitu perturbatam, inrita fore, quae ille egisset, simul ac desisteremus timere; clementiam illi malo fuisse; qua si usus non esset, nihil ei tale accidere potuisse. Mihi autem venit in mentem, si Pompeius cum exercitu firmo veniat, quod est εὔλογον, certe fore bellum. Haec me species cogitatioque perturbat. Neque enim iam, quod tibi tum licuit, nobis nunc licebit. Nam aperte laetati sumus. Deinde habent in ore nos ingratos. Nullo modo licebit, quod tum et tibi licuit et multis. Φαινοπροσωπητέον ergo et ἰτέον in castra?
XXII
CICERO TO ATTICUS.
Puteoli, May 14, B.C. 44
As soon as I learned from Pilia that she was sending a messenger to you on the 15th, I scrawled this bit of a note. First then I want you to know that I am leaving here for Arpinum on May 17th. So, if you have anything to send after that, you must send it there: though I shall be in Rome almost directly. For I want to scent out as clearly as possible what is going to happen before I come to town. However, I fear my suspicions are not far from the truth. For it is clear enough what they are doing. My pupil,[[228]] who dined with me to-day, is a warm admirer of the man who was wounded by our Brutus: and, if you want to know, I see quite clearly that they are afraid of peace. This is the theme on which they are always dwelling: that a most distinguished person has been killed, that by his death the whole state has been thrown into disorder; that his acts will be null and void as soon as we have ceased to fear; that his clemency was his destruction, and that, if he had not practised clemency, such a thing could not have happened to him. I cannot help thinking, then, that if Pompey comes with a strong force, which is quite possible, there will certainly be war. When I picture this and think of it, I am disturbed: for now we shall not have the choice you had before. For we have shown our joy openly. Again they speak of us as ingrates. What you and many others did then certainly will not be possible now. Must I put in an appearance,
[228]. Hirtius.
290Miliens mori melius, huic praesertim aetati. Itaque me Idus Martiae non tam consolantur quam antea. Magnum enim mendum continent. Etsi illi iuvenes
ἄλλοις ἐν ἐσθλοῖς τόνδ' ἀπωθοῦνται ψόγον.
Sed, si tu melius quidpiam speras, quod et plura audis et interes consiliis, scribas ad me velim simulque cogites, quid agendum nobis sit super legatione votiva. Equidem in his locis moneor a multis, ne in senatu Kalendis. Dicuntur enim occulte milites ad eam diem comparari et quidem in istos, qui mihi videntur ubivis tutius quam in senatu fore.
then, and join the army? A thousand times better to die, especially at my time of life. So now I am not so much consoled as I was with the thought of the Ides of March, for there was a grave mistake committed then. However, those youths "in other noble deeds wipe out their shame."[[229]] But, if you have any better hope, as you hear more news and are in the midst of affairs, please write, and at the same time consider what I ought to do about the votive legation. Here many people warn me against attending the Senate on the 1st. They say troops are being collected secretly for that occasion, and that too against your friends, who to my idea will be safer anywhere than in the Senate.