“Well,” I said, turning to them in disgust, “you are not worthy of the uniforms you are wearing. This uniform stands for noble sacrifice, for unselfish patriotism, for purity and honour and loyalty. Every one of you is a disgrace to the uniform. Take it off and leave this place.”
My order was met by an outburst of scoffing and defiance.
“We are in the majority. We refuse to obey your orders. We no longer recognize your authority. We will elect a new chief!”
I was deeply hurt, but I controlled myself so as not to act rashly. I resolved to make another appeal to them, and said:
“You will elect no new chief. But if you want to go, go quietly. Make no scandal, for the sake of womanhood. If all this becomes public it will injure and humiliate all of us. Men will say that women are unfit for serious work, that they do not know how to carry through an enterprise and that they cannot help quarrelling. We shall become a byword all over the world and your act will be an eternal blot on our sex.”
“But why are you so cruel and harsh to us?” the rebels began to argue again. “Why do you treat us as if we were in a prison, allowing us no holidays, giving us no opportunity to go for walks, always shouting and ordering us about? You want to make us slaves.”
“I told you at the beginning that I should be strict, that I should shout and punish. As to not letting you out of the grounds, you know that I do it because I cannot be sure of your conduct outside. I wanted this house to be a holy place. I prayed to God to hallow us all with His chastity. I wished you to go to the front as saintly women, hoping that the enemy’s bullets would not touch you.”
All night an argument raged between the three hundred loyal women and the mutineers. I retired, leaving instructions with the officers to let the rebels do as they pleased, even to leave in their uniforms. I was filled with despair as I reflected on the outcome of my enterprise. My soul ached for all women as I thought of the disgraceful conduct of the girls who had pledged their honour on behalf of an idea and then deserted the banner they had themselves raised.
In the morning I was informed that the rebels had elected a deputation to go to General Polovtzev, Commander of the Military District, to make complaint against me, and that they had all departed in uniform. The same day I was called to report to General Polovtzev on the whole matter. The General advised me to meet some of the demands of the rebels and come to terms.
“The whole army is now being run by committees of soldiers. You alone cannot preserve the old system. Let your girls form a committee so that a scandal will be averted and your great work thereby saved,” General Polovtzev tried to persuade me. But I would not be persuaded.