MCLVI.—WELLINGTON SURPRISED.
A nobleman ventured, in a moment of conviviality at his grace's table, to put this question to him: "Allow me to ask, as we are all here titled, if you were not surprised at Waterloo?" To which the duke responded, "No; but I am now."
MCLVII.—TOO CLEVER.
A country boy endeavored, to the utmost of his power, to make himself useful, and avoid being frequently told of many trifling things, as country lads generally are. His master having sent him down stairs for two bottles of wine, he said to him, "Well, John, have you shook them?"—"No, sir; but I will," he replied, suiting the action to the word.
MCLVIII.—A LIGHT JOKE.
An eminent tallow-chandler was told that after his candles were burned down to the middle, not one of them would burn any longer. He was at first greatly enraged at what he deemed a gross falsehood; but the same evening he tried the experiment at home, and found it to be a fact, "that when burned to the middle, neither candle would burn any longer."
MCLIX.—A REBUKE.
A braggart, whose face had been mauled in a pot-house brawl, asserted that he had received his scars in battle. "Then," said an old soldier, "be careful the next time you run away, and don't look back."
MCLX.—A MODEL PHILANTHROPIST.
"Bobby, what does your father do for a living?"—"He's a philanthropist, sir."—"A what?"—"A phi-lan-thro-pist, sir,—he collects money for Central America, and builds houses out of the proceeds."