MCLXI.—GREAT CABBAGE.
A foreigner asked an English tailor how much cloth was necessary for a suit of clothes. He replied, twelve yards. Astonished at the quantity, he went to another, who said seven would be quite sufficient. Not thinking of the exorbitancy even of this demand, all his rage was against the first tailor: so to him he went. "How did you dare, sir, ask twelve yards of cloth, to make me what your neighbor says he can do for seven?"—"Lord, sir!" replied the man, "my neighbor can easily do it, he has but three children to clothe, I have six."
MCLXII.—TRUE AND FALSE.
A beggar asking alms under the name of a poor scholar, a gentleman to whom he applied himself, asked him a question in, Latin. The fellow, shaking his head, said he did not understand him. "Why," said the gentleman, "did you not say you were a poor scholar?"—"Yes," replied the other, "a poor one indeed, sir, for I do not understand one word of Latin."
MCLXIII.—NOT QUITE CORRECT.
A huntsman, reported to have lived with Mr. Beckford, was not so correct in his conversation as he was in his professional employments. One day when he had been out with the young hounds, Mr. B. sent for him, and asked what sport he had had, and how the hounds behaved. "Very great sport, sir, and no hounds could behave better."—"Did you run him long?"—"They run him up-wards of five hours successfully."—"So then you did kill him?"—"O no, sir; we lost him at last."
MCLXIV.—A FOOL CONFIRMED.
Dr. Parr, who was neither very choice nor delicate in his epithets, once called a clergyman a fool, and there was probably some truth in his application of the word. The clergyman, however, being of a different opinion, declared he would complain to the bishop of the usage. "Do so," added the learned Grecian, "and my Lord Bishop will confirm you."
MCLXV.—PLEASANT.
A country dentist advertises that "he spares no pains" to render his operations satisfactory.