The Life and Adventures of Guzman D'Alfarache, or the Spanish Rogue, vol. 1/3

by Mateo Alemán

CHAP. VII.
The Landlord steals Guzman’s cloak.—A great uproar at the Inn.

To enable myself the better to assist my friend the muleteer in getting his mules ready for our journey, I threw my cloak off, which I folded up, and placed on a bench; but, about a quarter of an hour afterwards, happening to look that way, I perceived that my cloak was no longer there. This alarmed me at first; but I did not vex myself extremely about it, thinking that either our host or the muleteer had concealed it from me for the purpose of amusing themselves by observing the anxiety it would occasion me.

I could not suspect any one else of having played me this trick, for no other person had entered the stable, whence my cloak had been taken. I enquired first of the muleteer, who told me that he never amused himself in that way. I then addressed myself to our host, who instantly had recourse to oaths to persuade me that he had no hand in the theft I complained of. Upon that I determined to search the house for it, and went over it from top to bottom, without forgetting the least corner in which it might be secreted, feeling firmly convinced in my own mind that our host was the one guilty of the theft, whose physiognomy alone sufficiently justified my presumption.

I came at last, by chance, to a back yard, the door of which I found some difficulty in opening, and the objects that I perceived there were sufficient to turn my mind for some minutes from thinking of my cloak. I observed upon the pavement a large pool of blood that had been but newly spilt, at the side of which lay the skin of a young mule, spread out, with the four feet still hanging to it, as well as the ears and head, which had been opened to take out the brains and the tongue. I beheld this sight not without horror, and said to myself, “there, there lie the remains of our excellent veal; it is but proper that my companion should witness this sight with his own eyes, being at least as much interested in it as myself.” I ran to the stables where he was, and whispered to him, that if he would accompany me I would shew him something that would be well worth his trouble. He followed me to the back court, where I pointed out to him the remains of the two fine repasts that we had made. “Well, my friend,” said I, “and what do you say to all this? Do you still think that I feed upon nothing but fresh eggs and cracknels? Contemplate with voluptuousness this delicate calf, of which our host made for us those ragouts which you found so savoury. You now see how that skilful cook of your’s has regaled us.”

The good muleteer was so ashamed that he had not a word to answer. “This is, then,” continued I, “the man of probity, who never sells cats for hares, sheep for lambs; but who, at the same time, makes no scruple of giving us a mule instead of a calf.” My companion, sad and pensive, returned to the stable, and I went to look for our host, to speak to him more stoutly, thinking that, to oblige him to restore my cloak, I had only to apprise him that I had discovered all his villany, and to threaten to give notice to the magistrates; for it was prohibited by an express law, and under heavy penalties, for any person to have a mule in his possession, the breeding of that animal being unlawful in Andalusia. Our host had cared but little about observing this law; for having, about eight days before, had a young mule out of an ass and a little Gallatian mare, whom he had trusted in the same stable together, he thought he might safely venture to pass it off upon travellers, who are generally very hungry, for veal.

I met him at the well in the yard, washing another piece of this supposed veal, which he endeavoured to hide as soon as he perceived me. I came up to him with a resolute air, and desired him, in a determined tone, to return me my cloak, or that I should immediately make my complaint elsewhere; but at these words, which did not frighten him in the least, he looked at me disdainfully, called me a little jackanapes, and threatened to whip me.

The loss of my cloak had not provoked me so much as this behaviour of his; so that giving myself up to my resentment, without considering the inequality of our strength, I answered, that he was nothing but a thief and a knave, and that I dared him to touch me. He appeared stung by my answer, and made up to me, as if to put his threat in execution; but without waiting for this giant (for he was one in comparison with myself), I took up a large stone, and threw it at his head, but fortunately for him it only just grazed one of his ears. Instead, however, of closing with me, and crushing me with the weight of his body, he ran to his chamber, whence he returned in an instant with a long naked sword in his hand. Far from flying before this bravo, I began to reproach him in the most abusive terms, upbraiding him as a coward and poltroon, for not being ashamed to make use of a sword against a young boy, who had no other weapon than a stone to defend himself with.

All the servants ran out to see what was the matter, and were not a little frightened to see their master with a drawn sword in his hand. My comrade, who bore a spite against the scoundrel for the abominable ragout that he had been made to eat, came up to my assistance with a pitchfork; so that (the muleteer and I, of the one part, the host, his wife, children, and servants, of the other) we made such an uproar between us, that any one passing must have thought there was some desperate work going forward in the inn. All the neighbours were alarmed, and came to the house, where they knocked at the door, but, not waiting for its being opened from within, they broke it open, that they might the sooner ascertain the cause of the horrid tumult they heard: then entered a troop of the police, with numerous armed attendants, and the alcaids; for, on account of the wickedness of the inhabitants, there were two alcaids in this town of Cantillana.

These two alcaids had no sooner got into the house, with their followers, than each of them pretended that the cognizance of this affair belonged to him alone, which formed two parties. The armed attendants were also divided according to their different interests, and their division excited a furious dispute amongst them. As the quarrel grew worse, the noise grew louder, till at last no one could hear himself speak; the two parties grew so warm, that they no longer scrupled to betray each other’s feelings, but allowed the most unpleasing truths to escape them. From these revilings they would probably have proceeded to blows, if some honest inhabitants of the town, who had entered the inn at the same time with them, had not interfered and reconciled them; which being accomplished, God knows how, nothing remained but to ascertain the cause of our quarrel, and as a cord always breaks first where it is weakest, they began by seizing hold of me. I was a stranger, without favour, and without acquaintance—Justice, therefore, could not fail to begin with me.

Let me, however, give these alcaids their due; for they certainly did not send me to prison without a hearing. I related to them in a simple manner the subject of my dispute with our host respecting my cloak; then taking them apart, I added the story of the mule, informing them, that they would still find that animal’s skin in the back court, and some pieces stewing in the kitchen. Upon this last article of my deposition, my judges forgot all about my cloak, and repaired to the back court, after having, by way of precaution, seized our host, who did nothing but laugh, thinking that it was all about the cloak, which no one had seen him take; but when the mule’s hide and other appurtenances were brought forward in judgment against him, he became in an instant as pale as a condemned criminal, and during his examination, confessed even more than he was accused of; unluckily for me, however, my cloak was the only subject on which he remained firm; the rascal, from a spirit of revenge, would not confess he had stolen it.