Captain of the Horse:—“Pardon me, Colonel; I am sometimes a little rough. I am really sorry to have used the expression, but I should never have thought that the man was such an ass as to be offended.”
A Queer Way of Reckoning
Corporal:—“Captain, I have to report that three men are missing.”
Captain:—“Why, how is that?”
Corporal:—“There are three sausages too many.”
The Standing Army
“Will you not sit down by me, Lieutenant?”
“Thank you very much, madam, but I belong to the standing army.”