A general who had the misfortune to lose several battles, received as a New Year’s present a box containing a drum on which was written: “Not good for anything but to be beaten.”
Thankful For Anything
Lieutenant:—“You idiot; you have brought me a single ticket instead of a return ticket!”
Servant:—“But sir, there was such a crowd at the ticket-office, that I was glad to get this one.”
The Lost Colonel
Youthful Prince (as guest at a drill, sees the Colonel lead his regiment in a poorly executed attack):—“General, that regiment I suppose is lost?”
General:—“The regiment is not, your Highness, but the Colonel is!”
Too Cautious
“George, you must always knock at the door before you enter a room, and then wait until some one calls ‘come in,’” said the Major’s wife to a new servant. While the Major and his wife are at dinner, George puts his head through a crack in the door, but draws it back quickly, closes the door, and knocks. His astonished mistress calls: “Come in!... George, did you not understand? I told you to knock first, and then wait until some one calls ‘come in.’ Instead of doing that, you looked first into the room. What did you mean by that?”