“Well, you see, sir, coming back with it, I met a comrade, and he asked me to whom the sausage belonged, and I said, of course, ‘To my master.’
“‘What,’ said he, sneeringly, ‘does your master eat only a sausage for supper? What a shame!’ So I told him you bought it for me, and ate it up right before him and so took the shame upon myself.”
It Depends
Lieutenant (to recruit):—“How should a soldier act before the enemy?”
Recruit:—“That depends entirely upon how the enemy acts!”
More True Than Kind
Major’s Wife (stout and elderly):—“Lieutenant von Schwenker is a charming man. At every ball he comes to me and begs for the first dance.”
Colonel:—“He is all right; he is a brave fellow, that Lieutenant; he always does the disagreeable duties first.”