An Unexpected Answer

Sergeant (instructing):—“Who commands a battalion?”

(Soldier is silent. Behind him some one whispering.)

Sergeant:—“What blockhead is whispering to you?”

Soldier:—“The Major.”

Saved His Honor

“Where is the sausage that you were to bring every evening?”

“Excuse me, Lieutenant; I ate it myself.”

“What! how dare you?”