Gentleman:—“Don’t you drink water?”

Student:—“Never; I tried it once, and almost drowned.”

Two Alike

Among students. “What a spendthrift that Spund is! Day before yesterday was the ‘First,’ and when I wanted to borrow from him to-day, he hadn’t a pfennig.”

Ridiculous Idea

Father (to his son, an extravagant student):—“What? You want to start a coin collection? That looks to me about as funny as it would if our poodle started a sausage collection!”

Double Dodging

1st Student:—“Where do you have your clothes made, Spund?”

2d Student:—“Meyer and Strauss.”

1st Student:—“I should never get a double firm to work for me. Instead of having to dodge only one creditor, you have to dodge two.”