Young Lady (embarrassed):—“For myself?—oh, no! for—my—grandmother!”
Sharpening His Teeth
A housemaid was ordered to go to a guest’s room to tell him that dinner was ready. She found him standing before the looking-glass, tooth-brush in hand, cleaning his teeth. She gave her message, and on returning to her mistress, said, “The gentleman will come at once; he is just sharpening his teeth.”
Butter, Then Cheese
A butter-dealer and a cheese-monger were to be godmothers at a christening. At church the latter pushed herself into the place of honor, next to the mother. But the butter-dealer stepped in front of her saying, “Butter comes before cheese.”
Thoroughly Washed
Young wife (fresh from boarding-school):—“Oh, Kathi, what are you doing? That fish does not need washing! Why he has been in water all his life.”
Forethought
To a Banker. “Why do you let your daughter marry your cashier?”
“Precaution, my dear sir; if he ever runs away with the bank’s money, my daughter will, in all probability, get some of it.”