To Suit Her Mourning

At a Ball. “May I ask for the first waltz?”

“Certainly—but please, Doctor, dance a little slower; I am still in mourning.”

Inhospitality

Lady:—“But John, my guests drank only three bottles of champagne yesterday, and here are four missing.”

John:—“Did they drink only three? Well, I didn’t count them,—I don’t think it is nice to watch one’s guests.”

Too Literal

Intended Husband:—“You know, Bertha, I would go to the end of the world for you!”

Fiancée:—“Then, please, stay a few days longer with us.”