Eels by the Yard

Young Housewife (helping the cook prepare the menu for a dinner-party):—“As second course, we will have baked eel.”

Cook:—“How much shall I order, my lady?”

Young housewife:—“I think ten yards ought to be enough.”

A Hint

“Say, papa, when I am a papa, I’ll make Liesel roast a goose for me, too; but I shall give my little boy some of it.”

A Young Lady’s Diary on an Ocean Steamer

First Day. Stormy weather; poor company.

Second Day. Captain very amiable; offers me his heart and hand. Refused.