“Indeed they do, and what is more, they want me to study medicine, as he is always ailing!”

A Reliable Guide

“Good gracious, fellow, did I not order you to burn all my old love-letters, and here I find them bound on your table?”

“Please excuse me, Captain, but my cook always wanted a guide for love-letters, and so I thought yours would do nicely!”

An Adjustment of Accounts

Host (to a stranger who is settling his account):—“I am two marks short of your change. Let me look at the account again, perhaps I can think of something else to put down!”

Claims to Greatness

A:—“Who is the gentleman, to whom you were speaking a while ago?”

B:—“Ah, that’s a great man! He is one of the ten-thousand foremost writers of our day!”