Caught
Gentleman (in a cigar store):—“Can you recommend that brand of cigars, ‘Ne plus Ultra’ with a good conscience.”
Dealer:—“Certainly, sir; they are absolutely perfect and remarkably cheap.”
Gentleman (smilingly lighting one of them):—“I am very glad to hear you say so—all the more, since you wrote to me, that they were not fit to smoke, and not worth half the money I charged you for them. I am the manufacturer!”
A Shopping Aid
“The best thing for us to do, my dear Edward, will be to get an automobile. If we ride up to the dry-goods store in one of these, we can get enough goods on credit, so that we can live well by simply pawning them.”
The Very Latest
“Since your future husband is so devoted to all kinds of sports, I suppose you will make your wedding trip in a balloon?”
“Why no, that is out of date,—in a submarine vessel.”