Malicious
Attorney (to the manager of a theatre on seeing the empty house):—“Why, my dear sir, is the public excluded to-day?”
Taken Aback
Attorney:—“I assure you, charming Fräulein, we lawyers advance very slowly. One is always waiting for the other’s death. Look, for instance, at that old judge over there. From year to year we have been waiting for the old codger to go off and make room for——”
Lady (interrupting him):—“Sir, that gentleman—is my father!”
Force of Habit
A lawyer was speaking at the grave of a colleague. No eye had remained dry, until, putting down a wreath, the orator closed with great pathos, saying: “Rest in peace, dear friend ... and you, gentlemen of the jury, preserve ever a pleasant memory of the accused!”
At the Mercy of the Court
Waiter:—“What do you wish me to order for your dinner, sir?”
Attorney (pointing to the kitchen):—“I leave that to the mercy of the court!”