A hypocrite came into a shop where clothes were sold, and asked for a coat. Different kinds were shown to him, but none pleased him. “I need one that is black on one side and white on the other, but of the same material on both sides.”
“Strange,” said the merchant; “by your face I judge you to be an honest man, and yet you ask—how shall I express it?—well, frankly, for a rogue’s coat.”
“But, my goodness!” replied the buyer, smilingly, “don’t you know at all in what kind of a world we are living? You can’t get along with one coat. The pulpit demands one kind, the court-house another, the café another, the office another, the platform another, the assembly another, the bedroom another. If you meet ten people within five minutes it is possible that you will have to turn your coat ten times.”
“That may be,” murmured the merchant, a simple, honest German, “but if the devil gets you in a black coat, what good will a white one do you?”
His Wiser Half
A man had loaned to another fifty gulden, but having a poor memory he had forgotten who had borrowed it. He was much worried about it and told his wife. She was clever, as all women are, and told him what to do. “Go, to-morrow morning early, through the town,” said she, “and whenever a friend or acquaintance bids you good day, answer, ‘Thank you, but I would rather have ready money.’”
“I’ll do it,” said he man, and went out early next morning. Everybody took his answer for fun, until he met his debtor.
“This is an insult,” said he. “I don’t care to owe anything to anybody who reminds me of it in such a rude way,” and gave the money back at once.
Adventures of Baron von Munchhausen
“When at last my parents gave their consent to my traveling, my uncle took me on a trip to Ceylon. Our vessel arrived there after a stormy voyage of six weeks. About two weeks after our arrival the Governor’s son asked me to go hunting with him. I accepted the invitation. Now my friend was a big, strong man, used to the heat, but I, unused to it, soon grew tired and lagged behind.