"Well, that's where Mr. Wilson made a big mistake, Mawruss," Abe said, "because evidently this here King, junior, couldn't take a joke, y'understand; which, the way it looks now, Mawruss, even if Mr. Wilson had said, 'I hope to see you again sometime,' he would of immediately taken out of his vest pocket such a little book which you put memorandums in it and said how about August 30, 1919, or would September 10th suit Mr. Wilson better, and that's the way it would of went."
"Anyhow, that's neither here nor there, Abe," Morris said, "because, no matter how many times nowadays Mrs. Wilson is going to ask Mr. Wilson why he couldn't of said good-by, King, and let it go at that, because such people, if you give them the least little encouragement, they would use you like you was running a boarding-house already, understand me, it ain't going to improve matters for Mr. Wilson when the young feller does arrive."
"Say!" Abe exclaimed. "It wouldn't do that King, junior, no harm to rough it a little there at the White House, Mawruss."
"What do you mean—rough it?" Morris demanded. "Don't you suppose the President of the United States eats just so good in his own home as the King of England does in his, Abe? It would be the least of Mr. Wilson's worries if the young feller would expect chicken à la king and fillet of kingfish for breakfast, dinner, and supper already, but when it comes to making up a list of the guests which would be invited to meet this here King of England, junior, that is where Mr. Wilson is wise he would get himself run over by a trolley-car or something, and sustain enough injuries to keep him confined to his bed from a few days before the young feller arrives until the morning after the British ambassador successfully slips it to the young feller that the people in Washington is beginning to wonder if a king of England 'ain't got no home, y'understand."
"But why couldn't Mr. Wilson give one big dinner for the King, junior, to which he would invite the Senate and House of Representatives in a body, and have the whole thing over at one schlag, y'understand?"
"Say," Morris said, "the dining-room at the White House is a big place, but it ain't exactly Madison Square Garden, and it ain't even Childs's Boardwalk restaurant, neither."
"Then let him invite them to a series of meals in rotation alphabetically, and let it go at that," Abe suggested.
"Before that would get him out of his troubles and not hold up the confirmation of the Peace Treaty and League of Nations, Abe, Mr. Wilson would first got to get an act of Congress passed amending the order of the alphabet and making L for Lodge, J for Johnson, and R for Reed come ahead of H for Hitchcock, who, of course, wouldn't mind helping out Mr. Wilson by allowing himself to be shifted to the third or fourth sitting," Morris said.
"Maybe it would be a good thing to let the alphabet stand and square things with Borah and Brandegee," Abe retorted.
"It might even be still better if Mr. Wilson would write the King, junior, to be so good and postpone his visit until after Inauguration Day, 1921, and put the entire problem up to the next President, whoever he might be," Morris said.